One of the most neglected, yet not understood or pursued understandings, is the necessity for one to love themselves before they can fully love another. Much of the chaos in relationships stems from people being ignorant about the nature of the emotions which rise up in the presence of another. If I get angry its because a button was pushed in me and the anger was already preexisting, and not necessarily caused by the other person. It's very easy to blame others for what we are experiencing, and perhaps this is an "advanced" spiritual understanding, however we must understand that the provocation of the emotion isn't the problem but is actually an opportunity for grace. The emotion rises within, meaning it's the experiencer's opportunity to learn about it. We cannot control what others do to us however we certainly have a choice about how we are responding to the button push. Sensitivity is the only way we can correctly determine how to respond to strife within a relationship, and sensitivity is cultivated individually and through an aware relationship with oneself. There are many opportunities to develop our center and to overcome repressed pain. Yoga, meditation, and a Tantric relationship are all ways in which we progressively become more comfortable in our own skin.
In a Tantric partnership we can expect button pushing just as in a conventional approach except with one fundamental difference, the individual is aware the source of the emotion is themselves. This is a gift, two cultivated people coming together in a union with the intention of furthering each others spiritual progress through the release of stuck patterns. What this means on a fundamental level is each individual in a partnership is functioning as themselves; they are living their life directed by their own inner authority, this brings about the supreme awareness of functioning correctly within the flow. We know there is a construct, or mechanics, involved when we speak of why people are together because the language humanity universally uses to describe the experience of being together "opposites attract" or " like likes like". Either we enter into a union in which sparks fly, or we simply feel comfortable with the other. In our youth we often prefer the sparks to fly because this is the mating call, the call to diversify our genetics. Often as we mature and sex becomes less important we tend to gravitate toward what makes us feel comfortable. The process really is about learning, it's about learning who we are and avoiding the pitfalls of trying to become what we are not.
In a Tantric partnership, we attempt to cast off the conditioning of traditional relationship structures. I suspect most of humanity is unaware they even have a choice about how they approach relationships. A Tantric approach is centered around non attachment. In the USA today we are starting to see all sorts of different relationship styles, monogamy, polygamy, agreements based on benefits, power plays, etc... Tantra is an agreement based on non attachment for the purpose of cultivating the higher self. The tricky part is understand this is all about awareness and that feelings will rise, expectations will rise, feelings of attachment will occur, love will happen; however there are no hooks here. This is not about seduction, this is not about children, this is not about security, or getting our rocks off, this is about realizing we have traditionally moved in and out of relationship essentially on auto pilot. The non attachment of a Tantric union is really about what happens when awareness is present. When both parties are aware and are in agreement that they will communicate and allow the energetic conditioning of the other to move our energy in a productive manner so growth can occur. The attachment, which is unavoidable occurs at the level of the Aura. The phrase that often rises when two people get all hot and heavy and decide to make a go of it is "you complete me". This statement is in many ways is very accurate. There are electromagnetics at play, again its a genetic imperative, a pressure. When sexual energy moves it will bulldoze through our illusions, and if we are meditative we can use this opportunity to clear our nervous systems. With all that rises it is important for us to witness and realize its unnecessary to do anything with the thought or emotion. We cannot pick and choose what comes to the surface, the subconscious allows for a trickle to surface from the ocean of impressions lying beneath the conscious mind; positive or negative its all simply witnessed.
Acceptance and surrender can only occur when we are operating as ourselves. Individuals directed by their own inner authority are able to be with another in an accepting way, and we are able to decide what we are willing to put up with. The acceptance and surrender which occurs during a Tantric union is a conditioning microcosm of the bigger picture of surrender to infinity/god/universe as it flows though our form. Surrender to flow, and accept that this very moment is truth and is eternal. For truth to be realized, we must understand it lies in the present moment, is dependent on our clarity, involves non fixation on our past and our future, trust that the human experience is to be calibrated to love/joy as we move through suffering/pain/fear, and faith there is more we do not understand than what we do.
Humanity is becoming more sensitive and more distracted at the same time. When you look at the mental health industry it clearly indicates a change is occurring. We are not informed about the tools available which can aid us in handling in a balanced way the new frequency present on Earth today. We are absolutely lost in the distractions, we lack the understanding that the over abundance of pleasure seeking, the responsibilities of "ownership" and generally being enchanted by the intellect has increased the pressure we are feeling to seek balance. We seek balance through medication, illicit drugs, psychologist and teachers, we desperately hope that the next relationship will be "the one", and we hope that the next job will quell the or desperation for security. Humanity is at its core reactive, we respond to the vibrations moving through us which we identify as depression, anxiety, anger etc... and we seek relief by some external means. The solution to our suffering lies within, it is rooted in the ownership that no matter what pushed our button we have the responsibility the accept what we are experiencing as ours. Taking ownership of the disturbance we are experiencing grants us distance from our reactivity which can lead to conflict; the simple act of witnessing allows us to connect at the point of vibration, at the primal level of the emotion or thought; our choice is to respond or not, how many of us did not realize we had a choice in the first place? As we witness we essentially unplug the power source which is fueled by our identification with the state or attribute.
Electromagnetism of love and hate is what we are responding to when we connect with the other. When we are engaging in a traditional relationship we must remember what we are loving in not universal Love but the love of attributes, the love of how someone makes us feel; on the flip side we also can hate some aspect of the other person because there are always aspects about the other person which we may not 'get'. The path here once again is toward acceptance; we simply must accept the other person for who they are and any attempt to change that person is an affront to the other and a statement the they can be a better person if they heed this outer Authority. Connections are made motivated by a number of different energetic signals. A connection can be practical, intellectual, familiar, sexual or just something??? The connection cultivated during a Tantric practice does not not need to be sexual. The transference of energy between two individuals occurs as long as a connection is cultivated in a accepting and meditative manner. Tantric practices can be deeply elaborate involving sex or it can be as simple as gazing into each others eyes. Presence is love, and love is not a hook. Cultivate presence and you will love the other and love yourself. Choose your relationship structure, create an agreement and remember the term "relationship" simply means time spent.
If the the previous explanation was over your head or simply not interesting then consider this. A friend of mine recently broke up with his girl friend of six years, his reasoning was because it lacked the sizzle the relationship once had. I have heard this sooooo many times from men, they complain about the drudgery of having sex with the same woman for years, or they make comments about how awesome it would be to have sex with other women. So why is it we loose interest in our mates? Lets look at this both short term and long term. In the short term after a man has an orgasm he looses interest in sex and becomes more interested in recovery through sleep, eating, or being left alone. The reason there is a need for recovery is because the ejaculation event is actually considerably more impact-ful on the body than just being a simple release. Even though we often only experience ejaculation as a release of tension this is a major nervous system event involving numerous secretions from the endocrine system and an adaptation event for the reward center of the brain. In drug addicts the difficulty in escaping the addiction is linked in many ways to the tremendous high and low caused drug, the high is welcomed but the low is dreaded and unpleasant; nobody likes the low which must follow the high, so often the strategy is to continue to self medicate as a way of avoiding the low. When it comes to sex/masturbation we are once again seeking the reward of the high, the sensual sticky build up prior to orgasm. Once we reach the orgasm then the low must follow and the reward center of the brain starts on the path toward normalisation. Its actually been shown that a man's brain is essentially dumbed down after orgasm, which makes sense when you consider the ejaculation event being similar to a pendulum. As a pendulum swings it will reach a peak in the swing two times during one swing, the beginning and the end, a swing to the right always must lead to a swing to the left, this is natural law. Humans are a cocky sort, we think natural law does not apply to us, however research clearly indicates the peak we experience during the build up phase creates a huge amount of activity in the brain so it necessarily follows that there will be a low http://scienceblogs.com/purepedantry/2007/04/10/ejaculation-turns-off-mens-bra/ . Now consider how many times your nervous system gets jerked around every time you jerk off or have sex. Over the long term you have a larger pendulum swing which mirrors the smaller pendulum swing. We have chronically ejaculated ourselves into a position of never being able to reach our true cognitive potential, and true depth in the relationship.
For men and women one of the major challenges in cultivating a deeper relationship is about abstaining from a peek orgasm experience. For men in particular this is a huge challenge. The biochemistry of orgasm has been well documented, however science, while busy measure the chemicals involved, has neglected to report much about the experiential side of what occurs after peek orgasm.
If you can measure it biochemically or bioeletrical-ly, keep in mind there is also an experience associated with the occurrence. Most changes in the body happen in a slow way, so the experience is sometimes missed. The cultivation of sensitivity allows us to know when something is off. Its through the practice of various awareness techniques one's awareness over time is sharpened. Sensitivity is a double edged sword at least in the early stages of a practice such as Yoga; as our sensory system is sharpened we are given the opportunity to witness all that has been ignored in the past, however as we progress through any repressed pain/fear we begin to move toward bliss. Pain/fear/suffering are valuable tools for learning and for protecting us from emotions which we are not yet ready to experience fully. The nervous system is like a time machine, it can take us on a journey into our past or into the future based on our beliefs. Experiences which have not been fully looked at will continue to resonate until awareness sets frees the vibration and allows for a transition to a higher frequency. This transition is not a forced practice. Techniques can be used to get our energy moving and once it is in motion the volume gets turned up, however once a vibration which is stuck in time is able to be witnessed the practice shifts into the relm of the divine feminine and surrender. Its necessary that we transition from a place of doing to a place of surrender because the limiting factor on our path toward clarity is the conscious mind and all its doing along with the willingness to witness or suffering/pain/fear.
The energetic "We" formed by the Union of two lovers is in many ways a separate person with characteristics we can experience as we come into contact with the other. Sometimes the "We" is annoying, which is something we need to dignify in order to determine if a relationship is sustainable, or sometimes we feel like we get a energetic boost or clam from the presence of the other person. Every connection has a dynamic which can be directly experienced. In Tantra we learn to experience our connection without the often inauthentic vale of verbal communication. This approach is not about figuring the other person out, or getting into their head, its about a direct experience not colored by our judgements and expectations. The Body is Life and Life has nothing to offer but Flow!!!
Coupes Tantra, One on One sessions, and Men's Classes available
For additional information contact Akal: somaarts1@gmail.com
or Check out http://www.tantrasoma.com/
In a Tantric partnership we can expect button pushing just as in a conventional approach except with one fundamental difference, the individual is aware the source of the emotion is themselves. This is a gift, two cultivated people coming together in a union with the intention of furthering each others spiritual progress through the release of stuck patterns. What this means on a fundamental level is each individual in a partnership is functioning as themselves; they are living their life directed by their own inner authority, this brings about the supreme awareness of functioning correctly within the flow. We know there is a construct, or mechanics, involved when we speak of why people are together because the language humanity universally uses to describe the experience of being together "opposites attract" or " like likes like". Either we enter into a union in which sparks fly, or we simply feel comfortable with the other. In our youth we often prefer the sparks to fly because this is the mating call, the call to diversify our genetics. Often as we mature and sex becomes less important we tend to gravitate toward what makes us feel comfortable. The process really is about learning, it's about learning who we are and avoiding the pitfalls of trying to become what we are not.
In a Tantric partnership, we attempt to cast off the conditioning of traditional relationship structures. I suspect most of humanity is unaware they even have a choice about how they approach relationships. A Tantric approach is centered around non attachment. In the USA today we are starting to see all sorts of different relationship styles, monogamy, polygamy, agreements based on benefits, power plays, etc... Tantra is an agreement based on non attachment for the purpose of cultivating the higher self. The tricky part is understand this is all about awareness and that feelings will rise, expectations will rise, feelings of attachment will occur, love will happen; however there are no hooks here. This is not about seduction, this is not about children, this is not about security, or getting our rocks off, this is about realizing we have traditionally moved in and out of relationship essentially on auto pilot. The non attachment of a Tantric union is really about what happens when awareness is present. When both parties are aware and are in agreement that they will communicate and allow the energetic conditioning of the other to move our energy in a productive manner so growth can occur. The attachment, which is unavoidable occurs at the level of the Aura. The phrase that often rises when two people get all hot and heavy and decide to make a go of it is "you complete me". This statement is in many ways is very accurate. There are electromagnetics at play, again its a genetic imperative, a pressure. When sexual energy moves it will bulldoze through our illusions, and if we are meditative we can use this opportunity to clear our nervous systems. With all that rises it is important for us to witness and realize its unnecessary to do anything with the thought or emotion. We cannot pick and choose what comes to the surface, the subconscious allows for a trickle to surface from the ocean of impressions lying beneath the conscious mind; positive or negative its all simply witnessed.
Acceptance and surrender can only occur when we are operating as ourselves. Individuals directed by their own inner authority are able to be with another in an accepting way, and we are able to decide what we are willing to put up with. The acceptance and surrender which occurs during a Tantric union is a conditioning microcosm of the bigger picture of surrender to infinity/god/universe as it flows though our form. Surrender to flow, and accept that this very moment is truth and is eternal. For truth to be realized, we must understand it lies in the present moment, is dependent on our clarity, involves non fixation on our past and our future, trust that the human experience is to be calibrated to love/joy as we move through suffering/pain/fear, and faith there is more we do not understand than what we do.
Humanity is becoming more sensitive and more distracted at the same time. When you look at the mental health industry it clearly indicates a change is occurring. We are not informed about the tools available which can aid us in handling in a balanced way the new frequency present on Earth today. We are absolutely lost in the distractions, we lack the understanding that the over abundance of pleasure seeking, the responsibilities of "ownership" and generally being enchanted by the intellect has increased the pressure we are feeling to seek balance. We seek balance through medication, illicit drugs, psychologist and teachers, we desperately hope that the next relationship will be "the one", and we hope that the next job will quell the or desperation for security. Humanity is at its core reactive, we respond to the vibrations moving through us which we identify as depression, anxiety, anger etc... and we seek relief by some external means. The solution to our suffering lies within, it is rooted in the ownership that no matter what pushed our button we have the responsibility the accept what we are experiencing as ours. Taking ownership of the disturbance we are experiencing grants us distance from our reactivity which can lead to conflict; the simple act of witnessing allows us to connect at the point of vibration, at the primal level of the emotion or thought; our choice is to respond or not, how many of us did not realize we had a choice in the first place? As we witness we essentially unplug the power source which is fueled by our identification with the state or attribute.
Electromagnetism of love and hate is what we are responding to when we connect with the other. When we are engaging in a traditional relationship we must remember what we are loving in not universal Love but the love of attributes, the love of how someone makes us feel; on the flip side we also can hate some aspect of the other person because there are always aspects about the other person which we may not 'get'. The path here once again is toward acceptance; we simply must accept the other person for who they are and any attempt to change that person is an affront to the other and a statement the they can be a better person if they heed this outer Authority. Connections are made motivated by a number of different energetic signals. A connection can be practical, intellectual, familiar, sexual or just something??? The connection cultivated during a Tantric practice does not not need to be sexual. The transference of energy between two individuals occurs as long as a connection is cultivated in a accepting and meditative manner. Tantric practices can be deeply elaborate involving sex or it can be as simple as gazing into each others eyes. Presence is love, and love is not a hook. Cultivate presence and you will love the other and love yourself. Choose your relationship structure, create an agreement and remember the term "relationship" simply means time spent.
If the the previous explanation was over your head or simply not interesting then consider this. A friend of mine recently broke up with his girl friend of six years, his reasoning was because it lacked the sizzle the relationship once had. I have heard this sooooo many times from men, they complain about the drudgery of having sex with the same woman for years, or they make comments about how awesome it would be to have sex with other women. So why is it we loose interest in our mates? Lets look at this both short term and long term. In the short term after a man has an orgasm he looses interest in sex and becomes more interested in recovery through sleep, eating, or being left alone. The reason there is a need for recovery is because the ejaculation event is actually considerably more impact-ful on the body than just being a simple release. Even though we often only experience ejaculation as a release of tension this is a major nervous system event involving numerous secretions from the endocrine system and an adaptation event for the reward center of the brain. In drug addicts the difficulty in escaping the addiction is linked in many ways to the tremendous high and low caused drug, the high is welcomed but the low is dreaded and unpleasant; nobody likes the low which must follow the high, so often the strategy is to continue to self medicate as a way of avoiding the low. When it comes to sex/masturbation we are once again seeking the reward of the high, the sensual sticky build up prior to orgasm. Once we reach the orgasm then the low must follow and the reward center of the brain starts on the path toward normalisation. Its actually been shown that a man's brain is essentially dumbed down after orgasm, which makes sense when you consider the ejaculation event being similar to a pendulum. As a pendulum swings it will reach a peak in the swing two times during one swing, the beginning and the end, a swing to the right always must lead to a swing to the left, this is natural law. Humans are a cocky sort, we think natural law does not apply to us, however research clearly indicates the peak we experience during the build up phase creates a huge amount of activity in the brain so it necessarily follows that there will be a low http://scienceblogs.com/purepedantry/2007/04/10/ejaculation-turns-off-mens-bra/ . Now consider how many times your nervous system gets jerked around every time you jerk off or have sex. Over the long term you have a larger pendulum swing which mirrors the smaller pendulum swing. We have chronically ejaculated ourselves into a position of never being able to reach our true cognitive potential, and true depth in the relationship.
For men and women one of the major challenges in cultivating a deeper relationship is about abstaining from a peek orgasm experience. For men in particular this is a huge challenge. The biochemistry of orgasm has been well documented, however science, while busy measure the chemicals involved, has neglected to report much about the experiential side of what occurs after peek orgasm.
If you can measure it biochemically or bioeletrical-ly, keep in mind there is also an experience associated with the occurrence. Most changes in the body happen in a slow way, so the experience is sometimes missed. The cultivation of sensitivity allows us to know when something is off. Its through the practice of various awareness techniques one's awareness over time is sharpened. Sensitivity is a double edged sword at least in the early stages of a practice such as Yoga; as our sensory system is sharpened we are given the opportunity to witness all that has been ignored in the past, however as we progress through any repressed pain/fear we begin to move toward bliss. Pain/fear/suffering are valuable tools for learning and for protecting us from emotions which we are not yet ready to experience fully. The nervous system is like a time machine, it can take us on a journey into our past or into the future based on our beliefs. Experiences which have not been fully looked at will continue to resonate until awareness sets frees the vibration and allows for a transition to a higher frequency. This transition is not a forced practice. Techniques can be used to get our energy moving and once it is in motion the volume gets turned up, however once a vibration which is stuck in time is able to be witnessed the practice shifts into the relm of the divine feminine and surrender. Its necessary that we transition from a place of doing to a place of surrender because the limiting factor on our path toward clarity is the conscious mind and all its doing along with the willingness to witness or suffering/pain/fear.
The energetic "We" formed by the Union of two lovers is in many ways a separate person with characteristics we can experience as we come into contact with the other. Sometimes the "We" is annoying, which is something we need to dignify in order to determine if a relationship is sustainable, or sometimes we feel like we get a energetic boost or clam from the presence of the other person. Every connection has a dynamic which can be directly experienced. In Tantra we learn to experience our connection without the often inauthentic vale of verbal communication. This approach is not about figuring the other person out, or getting into their head, its about a direct experience not colored by our judgements and expectations. The Body is Life and Life has nothing to offer but Flow!!!
Coupes Tantra, One on One sessions, and Men's Classes available
For additional information contact Akal: somaarts1@gmail.com
or Check out http://www.tantrasoma.com/
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